F#&K You

Most of the time I seem to function quite well But today after the horrible news about my dream home ,compounded by the loss of close friends (as in they avoid me , not died) is really dragging me down

I feel like I am at an all new low right now really finding it difficult to scrape a few disjointed  words together
this last few months I have been banging my head against a brick wall . You would think that after the first few times I would say to myself . " why be so silly , they are not there for you any more , and they really couldn't give a flying fig for. I am slowly starting to realise that and I twigged when I was seeing if they still wanted my help moving  and their reply " I could really use your Van" , I should have just dropped the van of seeing they didn't really need me.
And to be honest I'm totally annoyed that instead of saying Hey I really enjoyed flirting with you and making out in the back of her car. but I cant do this any more .
 Sure it would have hurt then, but not as much as it does right now

But no she treated me exactly the way  most "Men" treat women when they lose interest ,
Just pretend she's not there and maybe she will go away
Sorry but my heart just does not have an off switch ,any of my ex's will pay testimony to that
I still Love and cherish all of them and still enjoy great friendships with some too

I'm sure you saw me breaking apart and heard me crying for help. But you chose to just on the sidelines and laugh at me instead

And then she has the balls to re extend an invite to her Birthday BBQ so I can watch her swapping spit with her new Girlfriend
Like I really want to have a better reason to do myself in .

            No Thank you





I just hope when she dumps her latest toy . she more thoughtful and respectful of their feelings