Heartache

I should be over this by now. Right?

But every  few days I think back on the friendship burgeoning into a little bit more as each day passed
the long chats filled with innuendo and promise of more to come
The flirting using my fantasies as bait to draw even more from this emotionally scared person(me)
And the lovely meals at new and exciting venues followed by our tryst in the back seat

I should be able to put these out of my mind and realise that what I felt was in no way similar to what they felt
Surely its been Eight months And Thirteen days since we were last romantically together
And its been over three months since we have had anything that would count as a real conversation or friendship
And pouring my heart out to them how much you value them and miss there friendship, only to get the reply "DITTO"
sorry but that line only works in movie's and even then it portrays their emotionally disconnected state

So if I know all this. Then why am I still hung up on the first person I allowed close enough to hurt me, leaving me a constant stumbling Idiot pining for the loss of you
Even now I wonder if I really want them back in my life or if would still like them now

Unfortunately that doesn't stop the pain I feel. and to make things worse we both have the same circle of friends and community so obviously we attend similar events and parties

I just wish that the first person to come kicking down my walls wasn't somebody that I cared so deeply for
if you had just been a one night stand I would be fine
But no I had to go and fall in love with you !

                                          

this is my favourite version 

after the original

I heard this song with a good friend while we were out shopping on my birthday, when this song came over the store stereo system .
She commented on how good the song is ,then told me not to listen as the lyrics may
somehow hurt me as she stood there biting her tongue and waiting for me to cry
And they do exactly that as they remind me of the hurt the pain and the rejection
from somebody that I used to know
And the knowledge we will never have that or anything close is a little death every time
As much as I love this song I cant help but cry for my loss

And still every day I hope that one day we can be friends again
as more than anything I miss their company