whats in a name

A very good friend of mine asked me about my name and How I came to choose it

As you probably all know I wasn't fortunate enough to be born in either the correct gender or born with a name that felt like mine
For years even before I discovered who I really was I have been wishing to change my name for one that felt like it truly belonged to me . Don't get me wrong I enjoyed the fact mine is the only name in the calendar
when listed as just the initials. And those months have been and still are what I call power months, where things would mostly fall into place with relative ease
I went through so many choices of male names to try and make me feel like more of a man including a name made purely from futhark runes to empower me with a super manliness that no other name could
"maelstrom" part of my wiccan days each letter itself a symbol of power and strength
needles to say for the year my life was in complete turmoil as I could not handle to power in that name


many years later when I was finally able to accept the real me
and finally gave in to her kicking and screaming for freedom . The name came to me as if by magic

"Alice "    I had known an Alice back in the day and she was so cool, kind, fun and all round exuded energy every day
There may have also been a bit of "Alice in Wonderland " in their to as I felt like I was about to fall down the rabbit hole myself

"Paige" Well that's an easy one .I felt for the first time like finally my life was about to change and with a new book chapter and page was about to begin
Also I liked the "too Serve " meaning behind the name
So I just added an "I" to it and presto I felt correct with the name "Alice Paige"

"Renae"   As I was getting ready to move to Melbourne several months later, I knew that I would be leaving behind one of the most significant women in my life. The one lady who had been a constant friend and confidant. My Hairdresser who had for nine years been the only person - who had creative license over my long tresses.
With the pain at the thought of leaving her behind, I felt the only true way to honor her was to take her name "Renae" for my middle name.

At last I have a complete name - one that makes me feel whole and connected in every way.
A name that embodies who I really am. I feel the bond with my name deeply and I look forward to the day that my name will officially be

  Alice Renae Paige