Day Two

A friend of mine commented today about my last post "Days"
She was somewhat concerned as she thought everything in my life was falling into place

That could not be any further from the truth
Yes I am finally able to break free from the gender binary imposed upon me at birth and I am free to express the real me every day.
And every day I celebrate that one fact
I have joy and freedom in abundance. But that still doesn't change the fact that I am still so far behind the curve
Financially   : I am either just been paid and struggling to work out which bill don't I pay this week
Emotionally : every day relationships are painfully difficult , and I alternate between trying to hard or not hard enough to convey the true feelings of love and respect I have for my friends. And when it comes to love. I so suck at that , my life is littered with the remains of relationships with people I should not have been with , or with people that I destroyed by my lack of commitment
And Work    : I think I'm up to job 20 or more . Its the reason I can do almost any job asked of me
I've done everything from waiting on tables at  17  to major construction . And now I'm the go to girl for custom designed showers that all the others deem to difficult do do
if you want a silk purse give Alice a sows ear

But in-spite of all this I am me and can finally stand up and cry " I'm a transgender girl "
and know that I can share both my gleaming bright moments that make me smile so brightly
and the times where I feel so low and depressed that all i can do is cry

And every day I keep in mind that . my lowest of low days now , are by far brighter than most of my happiest days Two years ago before I had decided at last I will be me for better or worse

I promised myself when I started this blog. That at no time would I sugar coat my life and pretend everything had fallen into place.
But I can honestly say I am so much happier living this life than the one I led before

Thankyou  all for taking time to read my blog